So, I’m writing this earlier in the night while sitting at my desktop pc waiting for my fiancee to come home. Don’t ask me why I decided to reflect to deviantart, the reason is that I Really don’t care what people think of me anymore. Think what you want. These are my views, and probably mine alone.

Onwards: I have several things to discuss and or ask those of you who do read my journals. First, I’m going to discuss my biggest dream – and my question for you, is what’s yours? For me, I want to eventually be able to own a small house with my fiancée and have two daughters, and if I had all the money in the world I would donate everything I could to charities, fly over to 3rd world countries and build them homes and work places, and do whatever I could to provide comfort to people and animals. I would open a cat-rescue organization, and specifically fly over to Haiti and build companies and buildings. Part of the reason third world countries never really become anything less than third world is because people focus their money on the wrong things. If you donate to Haiti, or if you donate to organizations to help them, you are only providing them with a fish, but if you were to go over to their country and build companies and work areas and houses and tell them “Go to work” “Lets jumpstart this economy” It would probably work. So goes the saying, “give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.” But instead most organizations and things just give those in third world countries money, or temporary help, and in the long run that does nothing. So, my biggest and most impossible dream would be to open a cat-rescue organization and that if I had all the money in the world, I would go over to third world countries and jump start them.

Now to discuss my views on communism, the ideas are not bad. Marx really just imagined a society that would be so even spread and equal that eventually the economy and government would evolve to a point that nobody really had to do any work and people could freely focus on what they’d love to do. I’m sitting here imagining that if a kind-hearted leader who wasn’t power hungry could take over a country, communism could work. The only reason it doesn’t is because there are people born that are greedy and power hungry, and that corrupts the ideas.

The perfect government in my eyes would be: Every job would give equal money, every person could get the same stuff, every education available would cost the same amount, and the leader of the society would live just as equally as it’s people, healthcare would be provided by the government for free, because, of course, doctors would be earning the same amount of money as anyone else and they wouldn’t be paid based on commissions or the cost of medical bills. Ideal society, no? It’s sad that our race can never really have that.

Call me a psychopath if you want for what I’m about to say, or tell me I have a mental condition, that’s fine too, another part of my big dream – which I tend to imagine when listening to powerful music or looking at magnificent art works, is that I would play the drums in a band and play such powerful music that it captivated everyone around – and people would see wings coming out of my back. I imagine myself as an angel, even though they don’t really exist. I might be conceited, selfish, and arrogant for saying that I am one of the people with the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen…but I’ve rarely ever meant anyone else who’d want to do so much for everyone else on the planet and for animals alike. All I want in life is a small 2 or 3 bedroom house, big enough for my fiancée and future kids maybe, as well as many cats and dogs who’d I’d take in, then anything else I’d have I could give away. I guess the reason I want people to see I have wings is because one of the selfish aspects of me wants to be given recognition for the things I wish to do – for my deeds – for the things I’ve done. Maybe that’s not so selfish. I don’t know. Random: I would perform the music for free, or donate all proceeds to something I think would be helpful.

Realization on life: I am sitting here right now thinking that despite the fact I have less than 100 dollars in the bank, and despite the fact I’m living in a house we were supposed to be evicted from, and that I Have to rely on my fiancée to get us going and that life is so rough right now – That at least I am alive, at least I have him, and that at least I have a lot of very good, very loyal, very good-people friends. I think I will be making a picture for them soon, because I cannot offer money or anything monetary in any sense, and all that I can offer is my soul – even though I feel that that is not enough. It’s going to be a thank you to many people that I’ve known, still know, and cherish. Some of them being Toni, Leo, Moonraine, My father and brothers, My fiancée, Dean Koontz for his writing, The two hostess’s at Osaka, Mika – Diane – Roy – and all others that I used to know over aol instant messenger who kept me going in my young teen years, those on deviantart I cherish: Coldfushion, Dan-heron for his kindness many years ago, Half-pint, ShePaintsWithBlood, The one person who always comments on my works but whose name I can’t remember right now – I’ll post a comment at the bottom of the journal once I find it, lol, my long lost friend Alysha, Kenneth Kruegger – Who has now passed from this world but of whom I still love dearly, my cat Favewit, Kayllarien, Zaki – Who donated way too much to me when I needed it the most, Celling, & Many more that I can’t recall at the moment. Without all of them, I don’t know who I’d be today, or if I’d even be here today. I hope I mean as much to them as they mean to me. To me they are most precious, wonderful people.

I guess I am posting this because I want people to know me, to understand me, and to share the vision that I hold – The one about helping all of those in the world, animal and human alike, and I guess I keep hope that if someone sees this – someone more capable of financially doing what I wish to do, someone who isn’t trying to kickstart their life, maybe something will be done...And maybe someday I will be able to achieve just a small part of my vision, maybe someday, but for now I am living and I will continue to live, and no matter what happens I will probably be okay. (Unless of course I lose my fiancée and or die or someone close to me dies). Taking each day a step at a time, walking through life, hoping it’ll take me somewhere good.

So my closing question – though I asked it earlier – What is your biggest dream? Who are you? What do you do and why? [ I guess that’s three questions, oh well. ]

- Vel
P.S. My fiancée and I have decided to change our last name to Pheonix, and if we ever do have children and I bear a daughter, her name would be Mirah Jean Pheonix. What do you think of those names? Pheonix, and Mirah Jean.

P.S.S – On another note, someday, I’d like to go and visit all of those friends that I’ve made over the net whom I’ve mentioned. Though they might think that’s creepy.




Commissions

Please Commission Me! I need money for food.

What I'll Draw:

I will draw anything as long as you describe to me what it is you wish to be drawn and provide me with links and references so that I can draw it. Throughout the commission process I will e-mail you in progress samples to make sure that what I am drawing is what you are after. If you are unsatisfied with the samples I will continue to revise the piece till you are satisfied with it.

Style I Draw In:</u>
Anime
Manga
Semi Realism

Prices: [CG = Computer Graphic. Colored in Photoshop]

Traditional

Simple Sketch - $ 3.00
Clean Sketch - $ 5.00
Line Art - $ 10.00
Traditional Medium Coloring - Your choice of: Water Color, Prisma Pencils, Oil Paints,
Charcoal, or Pastels. - $ 15.00

Computer

Flat CG - $ 12.00
Complete CG - $ 15.00

Additional

Additional Characters - $ 2.00 Extra.
Backgrounds - Add $ 2.00


Sizes

Traditional [In Inches]

3x5 - $3.00
5x5 - $5.00
8.5x11 - $ 15.00
Custom [ Smaller then 8.5x11 ] - $ 15.00
Custom [ Larger then 8.5x11 ] - $ 20.00

Digital [In Pixles]

500x500 - $ 5.00
1000x1000 - $ 10.00
1024x768 - $ 15.00
2000x2000 - $ 20.00
Custom [Smaller then 2000x2000] - $ 18.00
Custom [Larger then 2000x2000] - $ 25.00

Payment

I accept paypal and money sent via snail mail in a protected envelope.


Delivery:

If you order something traditional then I will mail the finished piece to you via snail mail as long as you provide me with an address. I will request the cost of Shipping and handling. Or I can scan the image and send it to you via e-mail so long as the size is small enough to be scanned on a normal sized scanner.

If you order a digital piece then I will e-mail you the finished product, I can also send you a copy of the product on a cd if you wish but I will have to request $3.00 in shipping and handling.

Samples: